My Reason

Please let us remember Jesus is the Reason! Merry Christmas to all! Hope you all enjoyed your family as much as I did this holiday season. I enjoyed Christmas more than ever before. Then, today we celebrated the Holy Family at mass! Today's scriptures meant a whole lot to me...the happiness in the Holy Family is not because they are perfect, but because together they surmounted their troubles with faith, perseverance, and love. The scriptures also remind us that Happiness can be achieved by accepting Jesus into our lives. And do not forget, whatever you do, in word or deed, do it in the name of Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

Another year passes and I am ever thankful for my parents and the parishoners at St. Columba that set a great example for me to establish a relationship with Jesus. Jesus has placed me in a much larger "spiritual" family where our hurts are healed, our hearts are mended, and our souls renewed. I guarantee you that we have had our share of hurts in the last 2 years, but they are healed and our hearts are mended and I have a renewed sense of life!

Earlier this fall, Heartland Health promoted Breast Cancer Awareness with the production of a video and local commercial. These can be found on youtube. To view the video, please click this link and look for me in my Pink Santa Hat! Thank you all for giving me a Reason to Dance!

Heartland Health's Reason to Dance

The reconstruction of DaBoob has been very easy. I have been getting a weekly fill of 50 or 100 CCs and it is simply a syringe poke in a port. I have no pain and very little discomfort. The discomfort I do have is from the tightness, but I am still very lucky because it has not bothered me like other survivors I have talked to. We are awaiting the last 50 CCs into the tissue expander. Unfortunately, we will probably have to wait a few more weeks. The last time I saw Dr. Cannova, he encouranged me to do some deep tissue massaging on DaBoob. He informed me that it would be easier and more beneficial if I used a warm wash cloth to warm the area before the massaging. I have never claimed to be the smartest woman in the world...I decided that I could easily warm the area with my corn pad that is heated in the microwave. When I removed the corn pad, I saw 2 blisters on DaBoob and nearly paniced. Apparently, there is less feeling in DaBoob than I realize and the skin is still sensitive from the radiation. I literally burnt DaBoob. I have attempted to massage the areas that I can, but I anticipate that Dr. Cannova will need to let the skin heal completely before he finishes filling the tissue expander. Just a minor set-back. We should hopefully be done in 2-3 months.

Hugs & Kisses to All!

Champagne it is!

Thanks for the idea Steph...I think it is time for Champagne! The Plastic Surgeon, Dr. Cannova, said the "boob" looks beautiful. That is not quite how I would describe it, but I am encouraged by his comment. I was right on the border with my drainage, but he said I was doing so good that he was willing to remove the drain a week earlier than planned. I tried to get him to add some saline to the tissue expander, but he did not want to push our luck. I will make a trip to see him next Thursday for my first expansion. I did get released to drive and that is a relief. I do still have a lifting limitation and am supposed to stay within the 5 lb. range. Dr. Cannova asked me if I needed another Rx for pain meds and Dan told him I had not even taken any. So, then he commented that he was impressed I was able to control the pain with Tylenol and Ibuprofen, but Dan quickly corrected him and told him I did not have any pain and had not taken anything at home. He was completely impressed that I had no pain. I am ever thankful for all the prayer warriors and support!

This may be TMI, but you know me by now...the breast skin on the "boob" is completely numb. We have talked and we guess that the skin will always be that way, but I have made a note to talk to Dr. Cannova about that. It is a very strange sensation. It is also very strange to feel the squishy expander below the breast skin. It just feels like a plastic bag under there. The skin is fairly dark and I blame it on the radiation, but others have suggested that it appears to be bruised. I promise that it does not feel bruised. I have also noticed that the saline in the expander shifts, especially when I bend over to do something. It almost feels like it is going to gush right down to the floor. Funky...that is the best description I can think of. Still no pain or discomfort, just simply getting used to my newest body part and lopsided profile.

God is Great!

Whew!!! Still not an ounce of pain or discomfort since surgery. I am in the best spirits and continue to pray the reconstruction process is truly this easy. I was elated to hear the doctor say there was NO RESIDUAL CANCER in the breast tissue...NONE. Dan immediately asked if I regretted the decision for the mastectomy and I told him, "Absolutely NOT!" I am simply thrilled to know the cancer has not been in there for several months doing its thing. NO CANCER. I can handle that message.

I will see the Plastic Surgeon on Thursday and hopefully it will be a big day for me. I will hopefully get the drain removed even though I am scheduled to have it for 2 weeks. And I will hopefully be released to drive and lift. We will see what happens. Currently, I am basically helpless and do not get much accomplished. My daily routine consists of a shower and lots of rest while everyone around me pampers me and takes care of my family.

My Mother and My Sister have been Angels of God! No one deserves to go through this alone, but not sure I deserve to have such wonderful care for my family and me. Our mass on Sunday concentrated on Heaven and THIS must be Heaven...Love to Eternity without need! I need nothing because they have already given me more than I could have ever wanted and I do Love them to infinity and beyond. Thank God for the love, support, help and prayers! God is Great!

My Aunt Marilyn is planning to come home from the hospital today and we continue to prayer for her health and happiness. She, too, is fortunate to have a strong family and support system and we will continue to be her prayer warriors!

The Power of Prayer

This is Mary's sister. Wow, my sister is AMAZING!! Surgery is over and the tissue expander is in place. What a wonderful feeling it is to know that all that stupid monster is out of her body. The surgery was two hours long and recovery one hour and it went really fast. The surgeon told us that he didn't see any tumor but would have to send off and hope to have the pathology report back next week. He really feels all they will find is scar tissue or dead cells but to have it out of her has eased all our minds! It will take a couple months of putting solution in the tissue expander and then they will remove that and put in the implant. Both the surgeon and plastic surgeon told us she would be very sore and warned her that it would be very tight and uncomfortable. She had to prove them wrong and when we got to see her she had a smile a mile long on her face and just relieved that the monster was out of her!! She tells us that she has no pain and she finally took a pain pill at 9 p.m., just so we could go for a walk and she did absoultely great! I left the hospital and came over to our cousins apartment for the night, thanks so much Kim and Amy for letting us bunk with you a couple nights, and am excited to get back this morning to see how her night went. They told us that she could go home after dinner today as long as she didn't get sick, so I pray we will be on the road home around 2 p.m. I know Mary is very excited to be home and see the kids, they are her life!! Please say a extra prayer for our Aunt Marilyn, she is at KU having surgery today as the monster has reentered her body. It is up and down her spine and has broke her vertebrae. We pray that all goes well with her today! Thank you all so much for the prayers, they really do work. Fr. Emil Kaupan Please watch over and heal my baby sis and Aunt Completely, AMEN!

New Boob Coming Soon!

November 3rd cannot get here fast enough. The mastectomy and immediate reconstruction is scheduled for Wednesday, November 3rd at St. Luke's South in Overland Park. I will have a single mastectomy of the left breast. I will be in the hospital for 1-2 nights, then several weeks off work to recover and heal.

The plastic surgeon is focused on gaining symmetry with the right breast...still not sure how he will build a saggy boob, but guess we will find out soon. I will be glad to have a cancer free boob and I am thinking I need to lose some weight so I will look good with a new boob.

We talked back in July that there is not a good time for this. Dan's football regular season will be over, but the Bulldogs should be in the State Playoffs and will have a game on Saturday, the 6th. I am hoping my sister (Oh HELL, I KNOW my sister) will get the kids and me to the game on the 6th. I will be basically useless, but know she will take great care of my family and me. I love her to the moon and back!

God's Presence

I have felt the presence of God several times during this fight, but never more than today. I had my final consult with a 3rd Plastic Surgeon in Omaha. I saw 2 in Omaha and 1 in Kansas City over the last few weeks. After my consult today, I was prepared for one of the hardest decisions ever. I have the strongest loyalty to Dr. Silva in Omaha and the Plastic Surgeon in Kansas City is the best by far. The optimal situation for me is to start reconstruction immediately after the mastectomy in the same procedural setting. Unfortunately, immediate reconstruction is nearly impossible with the Oncologist Surgeon in Omaha and the Plastic Surgeon in KC. Dan and I had met with a surgeon and plastic surgeon in KC and liked them both, but I was struggling with the idea of betrayal.

Fortunately, Dr. Silva's nurse called and said they would see me today while I was in Omaha. I visited with his Case Manager first and explained to her how heart-broken I am to make such a tough decision. She reassured me that Dr. Silva would be very supportive and understanding. She reminded me that this is MY FIGHT! Dr. Silva was completely supportive and he was very pleased to hear the surgeon's name that I had consulted in KC to perform the mastectomy. Dr. Silva and the surgeon in KC are medical friends and have a respectful relationship. When I sit back and truly think about it, there is no other explanation other than God's Presence.

The KC surgeon's office called while we were on the way home from Omaha and they had already received a referral phone call from Dr. Silva and they are scheduling a pre-op appointment for me. The end is near...Glory Be to the Father, to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit!

Not the option I was looking for

Shame on me! I should have went to the appointment with more of an open mind. We did meet with a plastic surgeon last week in Omaha. But that is not exactly the option I was looking for. His proposal is to use the Latissimus Dorsi flap from my back AND a tissue expander with implant replacement. It seems to me that people typically do one or the other, not both. He also indicated that if he did anything at all to the right breast (the healthy one), it would probably be a reduction to obtain symmetry. He is the first doctor to warn us that radiated breast tissue does not expand. Not that I want to fill out the DD bra Dan bought me for Christmas, but I really do not want to end up in a training bra either. I was also prepared for an over night stay for the surgery and an 1-2 week recovery. But, this would be a 3-5 day inpatient stay for the surgery and a minimum 4 week recovery. He continually reminded us this will be a year long process and does not just happen overnight.

I am planning to meet with a Plastic Surgeon in Kansas City and a different one in Omaha in the next couple weeks. Dr. Silva's nurse encouraged me to get the other opinions. She said this needs to be the exclamation point and when the fight is over, they want me to be comfortable and confident in the decisions we made.